A Long Road Ahead....

This past Friday, I did something not every right minded girl after a heart breaking break up would do. Sleep with her Ex. I don't know exactly what is going on with me but maybe I want so desperately for us to stay connected that I thought sleeping with him would be a way for that to happen. I can't deny that our sex is amazing and that when were involved in that way it sends sparks to my soul. Yes what he did was fucked up and that he didn't do as much as I did for him. But I can't explain what he really did do for me, I don't know the words or maybe I just don't have the intelligence but I know I'm incredible woman. That no matter what man chooses to be with me will be lucky to even had me in the capacity that G had had. I wish people could see how happy I was, that even what little love he had given me while we were together was so full filling it was almost  a myth. I want people to see him in my eyes. To feel what I feel, especially that connection he even admitted that we had. One of my all time favorites was that we were amazing together, even if he doesn't want to admit what he really feels towards me. When I saw him friday he acted shy and with respect or I wouldn't have done what I did. I have so many words floating in my head I don't know what to say anymore but that as of right I'm sticking with the words I Love You