When the heart speaks...What do you do?

you slam it against the ground till it shuts up.

at least that is something i wish i could do. I know it's been since I've been on but all I've been doing lately is working my pretty little butt off. Keeping my mind busy of what I really feel. Lately it's been quite but it's been a week + since I last cried. That's a record. Though for the last week my thumb and pointing finger has been tingling and numb. They are swollen and stiff. I almost do think it's arthritis but I am not a doctor. I hope my insurance will be back on Monday because I need to get checked asap. Above all other things in my life. I almost wish I was this woman below, so carefree looking, confident, sexy, free....I think it's time I do something with myself and I'm not just saying being healthier but finding a better job