Rambles

Darkness is once again filling my soul.
Even with all the love that surrounds me from my family members there are certain ones that wish to see nothing better then to see me fall. Those people I would like no better then to slap around but what exactly can I do about them then to see let them get the better of me. I'm finding out there are family members who think very little of me and who think I will probably amount to nothing but be my mother in another generation form. I myself want nothing of that sort. I am dead scared that something will just fall on my path and keep from achieving what I want. I don't know where my career is headed or even if things will let me get there. I don't know what the future holds but I certainly hope it will lead to somewhere I never dreamed of. 


With everything that is happening in my life right now, I certainly don't know what to expect anymore. My mom is the hospital, my loving boyfriend was in the hospital just 3 months ago fighting to be strong again and get back to school so he can finally begin his life. These are two of the most loved people in my life wither they like it or not. My boyfriend and my mother had similar surgery's which freaks me out it's like god is trying to tell me to keep the things I cherish the most closer and not let life pull me away from them although I know I can't always protect them and I know one of these people won't always be in my life but I can love my brother and my mother for my entire life. 


I think I'm gonna stop here for now